THERE IS NOTHING LIKE a night out. A couple of drinks, some pretty girls, and a whole lot of fun for my dick.
Lick, suck, and fuck, then I’m out.
This chick walking toward me right now, though, yeah. Something is telling me to get up and go.
I don’t, of course. As she steps closer, I realize she looks familiar but I can’t place her face. Yet.
“Hey, Niko,” the blonde says as she steps up beside where I’m sitting. I stare at her, trying to jog my memory. Nope. I know I’ve fucked her, but for the life of me, I can’t remember her name.
There’s an empty seat I grabbed for Cam, but he hasn’t shown up yet. Please don’t sit down, I keep repeating in my head. I know it’s an immature thing to do, but I don’t care lately. I think it’s time for a new hangout because as much as I love the pub, this place is starting to make me feel claustrophobic.
“Heidi,” she says after a minute of my blank expression. “My name is Heidi. Did you forget?”
“Sorry, doll face, it’s been a long day,” I say and hope she’ll move on. I don’t want to offend her, but I was clear and to the point before I went home with her.
Whenever that was.
“It’s okay. I understand.” And she fucking sits down in the empty seat next to me.
Fuck! Cam needs to hurry the hell up and get here.
“Can I buy you a drink, handsome?” she asks me.
The way she says it makes me want to roll my eyes. Her seductive voice is just grating on me. Maybe it worked last time I saw her, but it doesn’t work now. I’m not in the mood for seconds.
“No thanks.” I raise my full glass of ice-cold beer that I literally just got a second before she waltzed over here. “I’m good.”
“That you are, handsome. I was thinking maybe you’d like to join me for something a little stronger than that draft beer, though,” she says as she drags her finger with a very long, very sharp red nail down her neck to her full breasts.
Shit. I remember her now.
This is the chick that had my back, chest, and thighs lit up like a fucking Christmas tree with scratches from those claws of hers. Took me almost two weeks before they went away.
I shudder from the memories of that night. It was good and, at the time, I didn’t give a shit that she used those claws more like a female version of Freddy Kruger, but no damn way was I going there again.
Even if I didn’t have my one-night rule, there is no way I’m letting her cut me up like that again. Definitely not my kind of kink. That’s some shit Cameron would be into, though. I almost snort out loud when I think of some of the sticky situations Cam has gotten himself into with women.
Speaking of the devil himself. “Finally,” I say out loud as I see Cam make his way toward where I’m sitting at the bar.
The woman next to me seems oblivious to my mood. She continues to molest her own tits in front of me as well as about seven other men sitting around us watching, those red claws of her move back and forth across her chest. Cam steps up and waves the bartender down as he stands next to Heidi.
“Sorry, doll face, but as tempting as you may be, I was waiting for someone.” I nod my head toward Cam, who of course smiles his pearly whites at her, not getting that I want her gone.
She looks behind her at Cam, and I watch as she looks him up and down before looking back to me with an evil grin that matches those red claws of hers.
“I’m always down for two hot-as-hell men at once. He’s wearing a fireman’s T-shirt. I’m going to take that as confirmation that he’s also a fireman like you. Two hoses are always better than one. He can play too, handsome,” she says, and I won’t lie. The thought of a threesome sounds hot as hell right now, but there’s that shudder again as memories from our one and only night together assault my brain. I look up at Cam, who’s now looking at me with a brow quirked, his curiosity piqued.
I shake my head no as he grabs his club soda from the bartender, a smirk now crossing his face. Whatever, buddy. I’m saving your hose, and you don’t even know it.
“Hillary,” I say to the woman.
“Heidi, but honestly, you can call me whatever you want as long as I can get a repeat of what you gave me a few weeks ago.”
Yeah, that’s not going to happen.
“Listen, you seem like a nice girl, but as I told you a few weeks ago, that was a one-time deal. I don’t do repeats. It’s nothing personal.”
“You did, but I didn’t think you were serious. I mean, I’m not trying to marry you, if that’s what you’re thinking, but what’s the harm in you, me, and your hot friend taking a ride back to my place? I promise it will be worth your while.” She winks at me.
“I’m sure it would, but no thanks. Enjoy your evening, doll. If you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some things to discuss with my buddy here,” I say, and she looks between Cam and me.
Cam shrugs his shoulders as if to tell her he’s on my side, even though I know he’d be down to leave with her if I gave him the word.
She chugs back her drink, grabs her purse before getting off the bar stool, and huffs out, “Your loss,” before stomping away.
Cam sits in her vacated seat and doesn’t say anything for a minute or two. I wait for it. He always has to throw his two cents in. Why should now be any different? I take a sip of my beer, and still he stays silent.
“What? Not going to bust my balls? That’s unlike you. You sick or something?” I say to Cam who’s now watching Heidi across the room chatting up some poor guy that has no idea what he’s in for.
“I just don’t get you sometimes, man,” he finally says.
“Yes, you do. I’ve told you before. Why do you always act surprised when I run into someone I’ve fucked?”
“You don’t just run into them, Niko. You run them off. I don’t get you. If I had as much tail chasing me as you did, looking for seconds and thirds, I’d be set for life,” he says.
I almost spit my beer out of my nose. “You do have that much tail chasing you, asshole. Hell, even more than I do, so stop trying to make yourself sound like St. Dick, and shut up,” I say with a slight chuckle under my breath.
Cameron just shrugs in that annoying way that only Cam can do, and I shake my head at him. “It’s not the same for me, though. I’m ADHD. I get bored easier than you do, but yet I’m the one that tries to stick around.”
“Yeah, if you call a week or two sticking around, then you are the poster child for serious relationships.”
“Fuck you, Niko. I’m just saying.”
“You don’t have to get it, man. It’s just how it is,” I say to him. “How I want it. I have rules. Rules that I live by. Rules that I fuck by. I’m not looking for something long term, I’m looking for the here and now.” I know he’s heard me say this before. “You have a bad habit, my friend, that more than once has come back to bite you in the ass.”
“Yeah, yeah. You and your rules, Niko. You just wait. One of these days, you’re going to have to break those fucking stupid rules you live by, and I can’t wait to get a front row seat at the fall of the great Niko Callahan,” he says to me, and we are right back to the bickering I’m used to with Cam.
“Not stupid rules. You could use some rules yourself, moron. Might have saved you years of the guys busting your balls had you followed one of my two most important rules.”
“Yeah, which one is that?”
“Never bring them back to my place—the number one rule.”
“That’s not entirely ridiculous, but what if they don’t have their own place? I mean, shit, it happens,” he says.
I want to laugh at the seriousness of his tone. “Cam, stop fucking girls. What happened to that chick that still lived at home with her mother?”
“She was taking care of her mother! Her mom had some kind of illness and needed the extra help, dickhead.”
“Yeah, see, that’s another issue. Why do you know this information?”
“Because she told me. What’s wrong with that?”
“What’s wrong with it is that when you talk, lines get crossed. Feelings start. That’s rule two. Only one night—they get needy. You don’t seem to understand that shit and end up meeting the mom and having fucking breakfast and shit.”
“What’s wrong with breakfast? I get Mickey Mouse pancakes,” he says in reply, and I do roll my eyes this time.
“Man, if I have to hear one more time about those damn Mickey Mouse pancakes . . . you dumbass.”
“You know what?”
“Nope, but I’m sure you’re going to tell me anyway.”
“Maybe if someone made Niko some Mickey pancakes with butter and extra syrup, Niko wouldn’t be such a pussy downer. There is nothing wrong with how I meet the ladies. You want to live by your stupid rules, be my guest, but I get sex and a home-cooked meal. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. We learn that early in life, so fuck you very much. Plus, I get it all in a twenty-four-hour time span.”
“Whatever works for you. I’ll stick with my plan and my rules. They work for me.”
1. Never bring them back to my place.
2. Only one night.
3. Don’t catch feelings.
4. See all rules above.
I have no desire to change my ways. Not because Cam said so. Not because some chick agreed and then wanted more. I’m not the bad guy here. I was straight up. I’m always straight up with them. I’m not changing my rules for anyone. No fucking way.