Free Read Novels Online Home

Taming Mr. Flirt by A.M. Madden;Joanne Schwehm (1)

Chapter 1





The crowing of an irate cock in the distance caused a spontaneous snort laugh to escape my mouth. My best friend Jude had a hate/hate relationship with that cock, and the fact that rooster chose to keep crowing every five minutes couldn’t be more hilarious. I warned my friend when he told us they planned to get married on his future in-laws’ farm that it would be a bad idea. Did he listen? No.

Another squawk, another snort, and when Jude shook his head I couldn’t be sure if the rooster caused it, or me. The way the minister cleared his throat, and the bride-to-be, Brae, glared at me over Jude’s shoulder, supplied all the confirmation I needed.

I didn’t dare look behind me at my other best friend, Luca. If he were on the verge of losing it as well, Jude would kick our asses. A flip of the coin won me the coveted best man responsibility. Jude couldn’t decide between Luca and I. When I won the toss, the asshole groom said, “Best two out of three?”

Jude Soren had no faith I could play the part of best man, and proving him right I had to force every muscle in my body into lockdown mode to keep from laughing again. When I met Vanessa’s eyes, the sight of her lips curling over her teeth to keep from losing her shit had my body convulsing. Clearly, the maid of honor had the same sense of humor as I did.

I felt like a kid again when I’d get a fit of hysteria in church. But instead of my mom pinching my arm, a solid punch to the middle of my back by Luca made matters worse.

The squeak that escaped my lips caused the bride and groom to stare at me, as did the minister and Brae’s bridal party. “Sorry,” I mumbled while looking down. I could also feel the eyes of every guest attending this wedding on me, including Jude’s family who flew in from Sweden.

The warm Indian summer day made for a perfect wedding day, but it also caused me to break out into a sweat. It felt like we’d been standing in that tent for days, and not minutes. Because of the unprecedented warm temperatures for October, the inside of the tent felt like a sauna. The combination of flowers and about a hundred different scents of perfume and cologne were giving me a headache… an unfortunate occupational hazard.

It felt like an eternity passed after the happy couple said their vows. The minister recited a good portion of prayers. As he went on and on, absolving us all from our sins, I ran a finger between my shirt collar and my damp skin.

Dammit, when will this end?

I wanted out of that tent, and I’d love a feisty brunette to be the one to settle me down. My eyes caught Vanessa’s eyeroll as the minister droned on and on. Christ, he could talk. Her audible sigh almost initiated another snort laugh. She made an even worse maid of honor than me a best man. Since Brae also couldn’t pick one out of her three best friends, Vanessa won her role today by drawing the longest straw.

For the record, Vanessa should have been a supermodel. Her long brown tresses fell like silk over her shoulders. The way her green eyes sparked to life when she spoke could have any man forgetting his own fucking name. But her tall, lean body could make a man beg. The thought of her long legs wrapped around my waist had me acting like a male dog chasing a female dog in heat.

Personality wise, the chick couldn’t be more opposite of Brae and her friends. She loved partying, dancing, and having a good time… my kind of woman. She also had a thing for nicknames. She dubbed Jude, Mr. Wrong, the day we met at the game show where I pranked him into participating, and until now the name stuck.

We’d been out a few times with the lovebirds. Vanessa nicknamed me Mr. Flirt, which suited me fine since that was all I’d done from the moment I laid eyes on her.

A few passionate moments passed between us on the dance floor when we all hung out at a bar called Dispatch. Another time we made out in the engine room on the yacht where Jude and Brae had their engagement party. Every one of our encounters, four to be exact, had been steamy foreplay… that was until last night.

During the rehearsal dinner, Miss Vanessa Monroe blew my cock, and my mind, in the coatroom. I couldn’t wait to see her today and hoped to take the flirting to the next level. The next level in my mind meant being horizontal, if and when the damn ceremony would fucking end already.

I should’ve been happy and elated for Jude. After all, those two pledging eternal devotion today wouldn’t be happening if not for me. Long story short, I pranked him and then he wanted to kill me. My little stunt sent him to a deserted tropical beach for six weeks with a complete stranger. Within a year, Jude went from plotting my death to planning his wedding to Brae.

I couldn’t relate to the way Jude stood beside me while staring at his bride, like his very existence depended on her. I’d known Jude Soren my entire adult life, and this man making goo-goo eyes was an imposter.

Sure, Brae was a stunning brunette and just his type. But I couldn’t help but wonder if she drugged him while living on that secluded beach. He left a cocky prick and came back a sap in love.

Of course, I was happy for my best friend who claimed he found the love of his life. Did I believe he did? Fuck, no. With almost eight billion people on earth, how could one person be destined as a soul mate?

The scientist in me argued that mathematically finding love with one person didn’t make sense. I believed in love, but to love just one? Again, fuck no. Things like curiosity, creativity, statistical thinking, and logic meant something better was at the next discovery.

Discovering new things was the reason for my existence.

In my job, that next discovery translated to a beaker filled with an exotic combination of liquids ready to be made into an intoxicating scent. In my personal life, that next discovery could slam into me at every turn. I met beautiful women all the damn time, and I was supposed to choose one forever?

Yeah, no.

There were too many decisions in this world, whether it be in the cosmetics creation process or in choosing my next lay.

Applause brought me back to the Hallmark movie we were forced to endure. Party time. As the only groomsman, Luca offered his arm to Brae’s two bridesmaids, Cassie and Desiree. I followed behind with Vanessa.

The short black dresses they each wore complemented their bodies. Where Cassie was blonde, small, and petite with some impressive curves, Desiree was brunette, taller, and slimmer, similar to Vanessa.

I admired the two women walking ahead of me, with Luca sandwiched between them, before looking down at the hottie on my arm. “Damn, Brae has some beautiful friends.”

“Why, thank you,” Vanessa chirped beside me. I couldn’t help but smile at her. Most other females would have taken offense to my declaration.

Leaning toward the gorgeous woman whose hand rested in the crook of my arm, I took an exaggerated whiff. “Miss Dior?”

Her head snapped toward mine. “Why did you just sniff me?”

Before I could explain, the happy newlyweds were getting ready to greet family and friends. Vanessa released me and stretched her arms out to Brae. When she leaned over, I appreciated her long toned legs. The short black dress hugged her assets, and by assets I meant her perfect tits and great ass.

With the women in some sort of female huddle giggling, I held my hand out to the groom. “Well, you did it, Soren. Again, you’re welcome.”

“I already thanked you a million times,” Jude said as he shook my hand. “You’re fired by the way.”

“No, I’m not. Any best man would have snorted.”

“I wouldn’t have,” Luca quipped.

“Fuck you.” I turned back to Jude and asked, “This is the thanks I get? I should have been best man without a coin toss. You met her because of me.”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re responsible for getting us together. I take all the credit for making her mine.” He looked at Brae who looked right back at him with a smile. “Today, that gorgeous woman is my wife. So, I thank you for being the jackass who forged my name on a contract. Try not to be a jackass during the toast.”


Luca clapped my back. “Let’s get a drink. Looks like there are some single women at the bar.”

Speaking of women, I needed to get Miss Dior alone. As if she heard my thoughts, Vanessa looked at me with a mischievous glint in her eyes. From my calculations, we had about an hour before we were due to deliver our toasts. That was more than enough time.

The women all looked at me as I sauntered up to them. I kissed Brae on the cheek. “Congratulations, Mrs. Soren. I wish you all the luck in the world with that crazy Swede.” After a roll of the eyes, Brae smiled. There was nothing anyone could say to her that would make her smile falter. “Vanessa, can I see you for a minute?”

Our friends looked at us. “We’re rehearsing our toasts. We wouldn’t want to disappoint anyone.”

Before anyone of them could comment, I took her hand and led her out of the ceremonial tent. When everyone turned right toward the one for the reception, I pulled Vanessa left.

“What toast?” she asked as we reached the barn. “I didn’t prepare a toast. I was just going to say, ‘Congrats and you have my permission to ditch the rest of your wedding to start consummating as husband and wife.’ Not appropriate?”

“That sounds like the perfect toast to me, although Brae may not think so. But speaking of consummating, we have an hour to get nasty ourselves.”

“Good plan,” she drawled with a salacious grin. I slid open the barn door and our eyes scanned the surroundings. Just as I tugged her inside, Vanessa’s nose crinkled. “It stinks in here.”

“Trust me, in a few minutes the last thing you’ll be thinking about is the scent.” I squeezed her hand and pulled her toward the bales of hay.

“Speaking of scents, how did you know what perfume I was wearing?”

“It’s what I do.”

“What does that mean? Do you hang out in department stores and memorize fragrances? Wait, are you one of those perfume-spritzing guys at Macy’s? Please tell me you are.” She laughed, but I didn’t.

“No, smartass, I’m a chemist. I create fragrances and I can tell you, Miss Dior, although popular, isn’t what you should be wearing.” Her eyebrows shot up. “Not that you don’t smell great, because you do. Believe me, I’ve wanted to devour you since you devoured me last night.”

We both stood staring at the hay strewn all around the barn. “That looks very scratchy,” Vanessa said with a frown.

“Allow me.” I removed my monkey-suit jacket and spread it over a mound of hay that was closest to us. A quick glance toward the door ensured we were out of sight if someone were to walk in. “Better?” With an enthusiastic nod, Vanessa lowered herself on my jacket, rested on her bent elbows, and stared up at me. I looked down at her and considered all the things I could do to her with my tongue. “That dress looks amazing on you, but I bet having it pushed up around your waist would make it look even better. I can’t wait to see if there’s a thong under it or lace panties. I’m a thong guy.”

“You talk a lot. Are you just going to flirt with me or are we going to put this hay to good use? You owe me an orgasm.”

“Oh, you’ll get one. Trust me.” My dick was in agreement as it came to life in my pants. Poor thing had struggled throughout the entire ceremony. With each look and smile Vanessa gave me, my cock responded. There were a few times I had to glance at Brae’s great aunt Myrtle just to calm him down. But now, there was no calming down in his future.

There wasn’t anything romantic about this encounter, then again she didn’t seem to be into that bullshit. Neither was I, and that was what made our connection perfect. Hovering over Vanessa, supported only by my left arm, I skimmed my right hand up her leg.

Warmth filled my palm with each stroke of her soft skin. Once my fingers reached the hem of her dress, I pushed it up right where I wanted it. She raised her ass a bit to allow the fabric to gather up around her waist. Fuck me, she was naked under her dress. “Okay, this is my new favorite,” I said, cupping her bare skin. “Do you always go without panties?”

“Depends on my mood.”

“Thank fuck I didn’t know that during the ceremony or I never would have made it through.” She giggled at my admission, but I was dead serious.

Shifting my body, I settled my head in between her legs. “Spread.” Vanessa dropped her bent knees to either side. Her bare pussy glistened with anticipation. Jesus Christ, she was going to make this quicker than it already needed to be.

Taking a moment to appreciate the beauty in front of me, I stared at her. “You’re fucking gorgeous.” My thumbs spread her open. Vanessa moaned and lifted her hips. “Just a minute, beautiful, I’ll get you there. I want to play for a bit.” And that’s just what I did when I teased her with my tongue.

Her chest still covered by her dress rose and fell with each deep breath she took. When I slid one finger in, she moaned—when I added another, her hips bucked as I finger fucked her. “You like that?” She nodded and before I continued, I removed my fingers from her tight channel and put them in my mouth. “Delicious.”

“Oh, God. Kyle… I need… you… inside… me. Now.” Vanessa’s words came in halted, short commands. Before I knew it, she yanked on the end of my bow tie and pulled until it slid off my neck.

I stood to remove my pants, first retrieving a condom out of my wallet. Her green eyes resembled lasers as they zoned in on the motion of me rolling it over my cock. With a devious smirk on my face, I again positioned myself between her legs, but this time with the tip of my dick pressed against her entrance. “For the record, this is going to be a quick hard fuck.”

“I’m good with that,” she purred. “But first…” She wrapped the bow tie around the base of my cock with a devilish grin.

“What are you doing?”

“Impromptu cock ring.” Damn this woman was perfect. Tying the end in a bow, she added, “Okay, I’m ready now.” On her consent, I leaned down and kissed her at the same moment I thrust into her.

Fuck me.

Her heat encased my cock tighter than the condom and bow tie I had on. Our tongues mimicked the movements of our hips. Everything about this woman was perfection. Rocking our way to chase an orgasm, I slowed down.

“Don’t stop, I’m almost there, please.” Cupping her face with my hands, I lowered my lips back to hers. Stiff hay scratched my knees, and if it weren’t for my jacket beneath her I imagined it would also be marking her ass—something I’d like to do myself one day. “I’ll get you there, don’t you worry.” We sped up our movements. She crossed her ankles on my lower back, causing the heels of her shoes to dig into my ass. Her pussy pulsed around me, milking every ounce of my climax. Our mouths devoured each other’s as we swallowed one another’s groans.

“Fuck me, that was fantastic,” I said through labored breaths.

“Isn’t that what I just did?” She looked up at me with her gorgeous green eyes and grinned.

“Yes, and we will be doing that again before the cake is served.” As soon as I pulled out of her we heard voices. “Shit. Pull your dress down.” I slid off the condom, tied it off, and put it in my suit coat pocket. My fingers tried and failed at working the knot on my bow tie. “Where the fuck did you learn how to tie a knot like this? Girl Scouts?”

“No, the Boy Scouts.” Vanessa laughed.

“Why are you laughing? This isn’t funny.” The voices grew louder and panic set in. “I need to put the bow tie back around my neck where it belongs.”

“Your dick is out and you’re worried about the bow tie?” She shimmied her dress down and with steady dexterity removed the bow tie from around my cock. Her fingers brushing against him almost set things in motion again. With one deft movement, the noose was removed, and my dick was freed.

Fuck. I dusted off strands of hay stuck to my legs before rushing to put myself back together. When I inspected Vanessa to be sure she looked as she did when we walked in, it was my turn to laugh. “You might want to get the straw out of your hair.”

She raked her fingers through the long dark strands only to make matters worse. “Holy shit. How much is in here? It’s like a goddamn nest!”

Just as I was assisting her in the straw removal, Jude cleared his throat behind us. “Cleary.”

Uh oh. He used my last name. Vanessa and I turned to find Jude and Brae. “Soren.”

Brae stood with her mouth in the shape of an “O” and Jude glared at me with eyes narrowed into slits. “What are you doing in here?”

“Well, nothing now.” The sound of me raising my zipper echoed in the barn. Vanessa snickered when I added, “A minute ago we were fucking. Why are you in here?”

“Same reason, but we’re entitled… it’s our wedding day.” His irritated voice made us laugh.

“And we’re entitled to celebrate our best friends’ wedding day.”

“And as maid of honor and best man, you should conduct yourselves with a touch more class.” Brae added her two cents.

“My wife is right. Shouldn’t you two be out there ensuring our guests are having a good time instead of Kyle’s cock?”

Vanessa clucked her tongue against the roof of her mouth. “Oh, calm your jets Jude-alicious.” Jude furrowed his brow and all I could do was stare at her.

“What did you just call him?”

“It’s my nickname for Jude,” Brae chided. “She stole it.”

Vanessa turned to me. “Since I can’t call him Mr. Wrong any longer, then Jude-alicious it is.”

“I can’t wait to see what I graduate to if this clown is whatever you just called him.”

Vanessa shook her head. “You are and will always be Mr. Flirt. Now let’s get out of here and let these two consummate their marriage.”

I clapped Jude on the back. “Have fun and watch out for that hay. It’s brutal on the knees.”

At that, Vanessa plucked a few more pieces out of her hair and quipped, “And your bare ass if you don’t use his jacket as a buffer.”

Brae looked up at Jude who tossed his arm around his wife. “Bedroom?”

She nodded with a firm, “Yes.”

“Don’t take too long, or you’ll miss our speeches,” I reminded them.

With my hand on the small of Vanessa’s back, I walked her out of the barn and into the tent where the reception was held.

She smiled at me. “That was fun.”

“Getting caught or screwing?”

Her tongue wet her lips. “Both. Although, getting caught in public is a complete turn-on, I was referring to the sex.”

Who was this woman? The thought of fucking her in public made my dick go hard once again. Grabbing her hand, I grumbled, “I need a drink.”

What I needed was to calm the fuck down before I threw her over my shoulder and cut out of the wedding way too soon. Jude would definitely kick my ass, but once the reception was over, all bets were off.